Hey, you’ll be fine, promise

Hey, you’ll be fine, promise

Two years ago, on February 9th, 2015, a twenty one year old girl fell in love. At first sight, he seemed like everything she ever wanted. Tall, dorky looking, she felt none other than butterflies.

They went to study abroad together for a few months. So yeah, she first met him at the airport. Fate, eh?

But love, oh, it crushes. Without mercy. Continue reading “Hey, you’ll be fine, promise”

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I should be writing essays, not stories

I can’t even look at myself in the mirror, I’m ashamed. Inside and out, I am filled with self loathing. Overweight. Selfish. Greedy. I hate my reflection because I don’t like what I see. I see and aspire to be more like people around me, but that’s all there is. I keep beating myself up on the inside, dreaming of a perfection that is so out of reach. Thinking of ways to begin to better myself. I’m a disappointment, to everyone around me and myself. How does one change? How does one even begin to change? Does it begin with self-acceptance? Self-love? And how does one fall in love with themselves?

I have to go. Talk again later maybe.

-F.

The feeling I thought was set in stone, it slips through my fingers

Sharing with you my current favourite song. Was listening to this song on repeat while waiting for my sister, staring at the clouds, the sky, watching birds fly by. It would be nice to make a video with this music. Maybe someday.

Give it a listen. And let me know what you think of the song, I would love to know your thoughts.

Write again soon.

-F.

And freedom, and falling

Dean Lewis – Waves

“Yeah. Maybe they’ll save it, all the pieces.

Store it in the town hall attic, rebuild it in a hundred years,

Wonder who the hell we were.”

– Jughead, Riverdale S01e04

Finally caught up with Riverdale just in time for the new episode. I still believe Jughead is my favourite (those last 99 seconds, I absolutely love). My room is currently dark, just the way I like it. And I am feeling quite lonely. It is really quiet here, and I am wondering whether or not I should eat dinner. If yes, what should I eat? Contemplating.

I don’t have anything much to say tonight.

Until next time.

Maybe I will eat after all.

-F.

So we can go back and play pretend

So we can go back and play pretend

Fall Out Boy  – Alone Together

So I have a really strong urge to delete blog posts again. Nothing new, as I have cleared this blog and changed its url more times than I can remember. But as of now, I am convincing myself not to and just stick with it. Also, the wifi here is currently awfully, painfully slow. I keep trying to download the latest episode of Riverdale but it keeps failing. I am not a huge fan of the series though to be honest. The main reason why I bother watching the show is because of the characters. The familiarity of them. The nostalgia of reading the comics, and seeing them come to life (kinda). I do really wish they instilled more of the original Archie Comics though – but hey, who am I to say all this.

I do have to admit that I really like Jughead. So far. I think.

I have also finally caught up to the latest season and episode of Supernatural! It took me a little over a month to watch 250ish episodes but I did it! I don’t know whether I should be happy or sad (at my total lack of a social life), and whether I should feel as proud as I do of this accomplishment, but it is so worth it though. I love Supernatural. Maybe I should try catching up with Grimm next. I have only watched like three episodes from the first season and I quite like it so far.

But first, I really have to direct my focus on studies. Grimm can wait until semester break. (Stranger Things 2 anyone? Ah I can’t wait to revisit Hawkins/The Upside Down and reunite with the characters!) But until then, I have got tons of work piling up. Research to do, reports to write, presentations to prepare for. On the up side, approximately 9 months to go and I will (finally) be done with my Masters. Won’t even feel the time pass by.

What’s next? Ah. Adulting. Trying to find a job. PhD? Maybe someday, insyaAllah. Pray for me.

Growing up is not fun. Kids, don’t grow up too fast.

And before I forget! I also sold my artwork (if I can call them art, I definitely don’t think they are worthy of the title though) last two Sundays! I managed to sell 7 pieces that day. Not bad for a newbie. I honestly was prepared for the worst! The most memorable customer, I have to say, was this one lady. She is a psychologist, and she said that she knew that our work (my cousin sold her stuff too, she was the one who brought me to join in the first place) took time, took effort. So she bought one piece from each of us for her office! My cousin said that we need more people like her.

Another customer, also memorable to me, was contemplating to buy that she paced around and outside and finally came back to buy the piece when I honestly thought she changed her mind.

It was a really good experience for me, in stepping out of my comfort zone. What’s next for my “art” though? I don’t know. (ps, have patience, and never, ever smudge.)

And so that is an update on my life.

Until next time.

-F.