Am I going to let this month go by without blogging? No, I shouldn’t. So hi. I have been meaning to blog for awhile now, but these days I find it extra difficult to arrange my thoughts. I do think a lot though, that much hasn’t changed. I don’t know if overthinking is just in my nature or I am purposely trying to think myself sick but I feel sad, scared, worried, and all these feelings really tire me out.

Final semester is approaching, and I can assure you that I am not ready. Honestly though, I am even more unprepared for life after masters. The easier route will be continuing studies, but there are other priorities now. As my parents’ eldest child, it is time for me to provide. I can see that my parents are tired now. It’s about time for me to ease the burden they carry on their shoulders. It’s time for me, to move to the next stage of adulthood. And that, scares the crap out of me. Will I be able to give back and support my family?

Also given the current job market, and the economy of the country, the future seems scarier than ever. And I have got 4 months left to face that reality. Will I ever be ready though? But ready or not, I believe that with time, things will fall into place. I know that we’ll make it through any hardship. In due time. When God wills it be. Because God is good. God is fair. It will all be okay in the end. I need to constantly remind myself of that.

I just need to stop worrying so much.

Wish me luck for my final semester!

Until next time.



I don’t like my mind right now

Linkin Park – Heavy

Please listen to the song while reading, and do let me know how you feel about it.

This is such a good song. I know it doesn’t sound like the Linkin Park I grew up with, but this song still resonates with me, and it also has a really, really nice sound. Continue reading “I don’t like my mind right now”

So we can go back and play pretend

So we can go back and play pretend

Fall Out Boy  – Alone Together

So I have a really strong urge to delete blog posts again. Nothing new, as I have cleared this blog and changed its url more times than I can remember. But as of now, I am convincing myself not to and just stick with it. Also, the wifi here is currently awfully, painfully slow. I keep trying to download the latest episode of Riverdale but it keeps failing. I am not a huge fan of the series though to be honest. The main reason why I bother watching the show is because of the characters. The familiarity of them. The nostalgia of reading the comics, and seeing them come to life (kinda). I do really wish they instilled more of the original Archie Comics though – but hey, who am I to say all this.

I do have to admit that I really like Jughead. So far. I think.

I have also finally caught up to the latest season and episode of Supernatural! It took me a little over a month to watch 250ish episodes but I did it! I don’t know whether I should be happy or sad (at my total lack of a social life), and whether I should feel as proud as I do of this accomplishment, but it is so worth it though. I love Supernatural. Maybe I should try catching up with Grimm next. I have only watched like three episodes from the first season and I quite like it so far.

But first, I really have to direct my focus on studies. Grimm can wait until semester break. (Stranger Things 2 anyone? Ah I can’t wait to revisit Hawkins/The Upside Down and reunite with the characters!) But until then, I have got tons of work piling up. Research to do, reports to write, presentations to prepare for. On the up side, approximately 9 months to go and I will (finally) be done with my Masters. Won’t even feel the time pass by.

What’s next? Ah. Adulting. Trying to find a job. PhD? Maybe someday, insyaAllah. Pray for me.

Growing up is not fun. Kids, don’t grow up too fast.

And before I forget! I also sold my artwork (if I can call them art, I definitely don’t think they are worthy of the title though) last two Sundays! I managed to sell 7 pieces that day. Not bad for a newbie. I honestly was prepared for the worst! The most memorable customer, I have to say, was this one lady. She is a psychologist, and she said that she knew that our work (my cousin sold her stuff too, she was the one who brought me to join in the first place) took time, took effort. So she bought one piece from each of us for her office! My cousin said that we need more people like her.

Another customer, also memorable to me, was contemplating to buy that she paced around and outside and finally came back to buy the piece when I honestly thought she changed her mind.

It was a really good experience for me, in stepping out of my comfort zone. What’s next for my “art” though? I don’t know. (ps, have patience, and never, ever smudge.)

And so that is an update on my life.

Until next time.



I am currently accompanied by the distant sounds of chatter and the loud crunch of keyboards, people typing away. It is usually cold here in the library, but not at this very moment. It is actually quite warm, uncomfortably warm. I have class in two and a half hours, and here I am, killing time, trying to make sense of people’s conversations and failing, watching random strangers passing me by. Questioning myself, is this chair too short for me or am I too tall for this chair?

Why am I here, typing when I have nothing to type about?

Oh yeah because I am bored that’s why.

I am in need of inspiration. Motivation. For everything.

Gotta go. Until next time.