Hey, you’ll be fine, promise

Two years ago, on February 9th, 2015, a twenty one year old girl fell in love. At first sight, he seemed like everything she ever wanted. Tall, dorky looking, she felt none other than butterflies.

They went to study abroad together for a few months. So yeah, she first met him at the airport. Fate, eh?

But love, oh, it crushes. Without mercy.

A few days later she found out that he already had someone. A long term relationship. Four or five years, perhaps. She gave up. Well, she tried to. That only lasted a few days. She still liked him. Head-over-heels, she was. Falling deeper everyday.

Please don’t hate her, she didn’t ask to fall in love with a person who is in a relationship. She didn’t ask to know him or have met him. She was just a girl, who fell in love with a guy. She couldn’t control who comes in and out of her life. She was just a girl, who fell victim into this cruel, funny thing that is, fate.

And he came into her life like a storm.

For months, she held on to a daydream. He, unknowingly, made her happy. He, without realizing, made her broken. Made her cry at night. She hadn’t loved someone like that for the longest time. He was one of those guys – the nice kind of guy, the perfect guy. He wasn’t handsome, but to her, he was everything she wanted.

Approximately one month shy before going back home, they went somewhere a few hours away. And at that night, in a taxi, him sitting in the passenger’s seat, her sitting behind him, she decided, that she should finally get over him. At that time, Say Something was playing in the car. At that moment, feelings started going away. And he, started to fade.

And what’s left was a broken shell of a girl who never asked to fall in love.

More than a year later, fate played its tricks again. And they crossed paths, ended up being classmates. But she was alright. She knows where she stand.

She still thought he was perfect, though.
But maybe perfect wasn’t meant to be hers.

Why did life turn out that way though, she often asks herself, and she still wonders that to this day. She contemplates, reminisces the good times they had that is now two years ago.

Lost in thought, she smiles at times. Fate is cruel, but funny. It could have been different. She could have chosen a different country, a different university. She could have chosen to not continue her studies. He could have, too. She looks at him from across the room. And soon, he left, without saying anything.

Her life choices led him to her, and his choices led her, to him. Their lives crossed paths, for whatever reason she can never begin to understand.

Just a few more months as classmates now, and maybe the next time they cross paths again, she thought, it will be during their graduation. Or maybe he’ll get married, and she will be there to witness the moment. Of course he will invite her, they are friends after all.

But will she have found someone then?

She is on the verge of giving up, though. See, she is not the kind of girl guys fall in love with. She is everything opposite of a dream girl. She is tired of falling, and hurting in return.

She is crying right now.

Some people just aren’t meant to be with each other. Some just love in silence, and with time, move on.

Sometimes, the insecure, imperfect girl falls in love with the imperfect boy, who is perfect in her eyes.

Someday, the hole in her heart will mend.

And maybe someday, she will believe again.

Who would have thought we would end up this way.


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