Thinking about Love

Love is a feeling that is often associated with happiness. When there is love, there is happiness, or so they say. This is one of the main reasons people crave the feeling: Love. People want to love. They need love. Want to be loved. People love to love. Because they want to be happy. Appreciated. Cared about. Ideally, love is a positive feeling, bringing positive things. Ideally.

But does love really make one happy? If love equals happiness, then is it wrong to have a little too much love? I feel a bit pessimistic. Or very pessimistic. Because I feel love, a lot of love – and it hurts. You’re happy, you’re so thankful, but you’re also sad, afraid. Of losing that love. To have that love taken away from you. You get so afraid. And that fear turns into sadness, swallowing you whole.

I feel sad tonight. I feel homesick. Homesick for home. For my family. Maybe it’s the age that’s getting to me. Maybe it’s the realization that my parents are growing old. That one day, we wouldn’t live together under one roof. That things will change. I am not ready. Even just the idea of losing my family makes my eyes watery, makes my heart sink, and I, would fall into a deep, deep sadness. Love hurts. Yes, love makes you happy, it does. But with happiness, comes sadness.

These things come hand in hand. Love is really a powerful thing. A powerful feeling. Some people do the craziest things because of love. Some people, they do great things. Love inspires them, love brings out the best in them. Some. The rest – sometimes love brings out the worst. When they believe that they love too much and it kills them. Brings them to the edge. How people would kill, and say that they did it out of love. How some commit suicide because of a broken heart. Love really isn’t like what the media perceives it to be. It does not always have a happy ending.

Especially not here.

As for myself, family is everything. My love, is my family. And I hope this love will bring the best in me – I hope to give my all. I have to strive harder though, in order to see them again in Jannatul Firdaus. To reunite with them again, where we will be together forever, is my greatest wish.

How do you Love?

Until next time.

– F.

Today is my father’s birthday. I really wish I’m at home.

 

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